Could you even consider this a fanfic?
by pagman
Summary: This may be the most random story ever written by man. Pay no attention to it.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: CSI is certainly not mine nor do I claim to own it. I am however saving up really, really hard so I can buy it off TPTB.**

**A/N: This is a short introduction. I thought I'd better start itoff before Iforgot all about it and it was left torot on my hard drive.**

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Once upon a time Ecklie propositioned Catherine. She said no and he was unhappy till the end of time. He tried propositioning Nick and Warrick but that did not work out in Ecklie's favor and he continued being sad. He was mad and pulled a classic Ecklie moment by transferring them all to night shift. His proposition on Hodges is still open but Hodges can't get much lower in the CSI lab hierarchy so no much will be happening there. Even Ecklie had more common sense that to proposition the evil Spork.

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We now find ourselves in present day CSI time. Six CSIs work the night shift at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. Each has their own talents and skills. Grissom, bugman and straw hat collector extraordinaire! Sara, bordering on a stalker persona and _good_ at hiding her true feelings. Nick, all around hott guy unless experimenting with hairstyles or growing 'staches. Warrick, guy who figures life is too short and willing to marry anyone. Greg, constantly looking over his back for his devoted followers/stalkers, drinker of Blue Hawaiian Coffee and folder of paper. Last, well just last, Catherine, mother of Lindsey and learner of names. These are the top CSIs who work the nightshift.

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They are helped by various lab techs (like the overly cool Bobby Dawson and Archie) and detectives (who could forget Brass?)who often have to put up with having the evil Spork, come secret red-neck farmer, tagging along pretending to help. They all have their own personal quirks and that combined allow them to be the number 2 crime lab in the country. I'm sure having a cool pair of the sunglasses of justice would allow them to become the number one crime lab but that is a story for another time…


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Short chapter but at least I'm updating! To all those over at you'll get one part in particular. So I think you'll get an idea for the coolest characters in CSI. If this means nothing to you it will soon…**

It was just the basic average day. Greg was drinking Blue Hawaiian coffee in the break room and sharing and amusing story with the completely awesome Bobby Dawson. At least, it seemed to be amusing for all the stories out there Greg could have been telling a story about how Nick came about growing a 'stache of doom and Bobby Dawson was laughing at the sheer horror of it Or he could have been laughing at the sight that met his eyes outside the break room. That would most likely explain why Greg looked so hurt. Outside the break room Nick strode in the main doors of the lab wearing a rather colorful toque. This was not what the totally amazing Bobby Dawson was laughing at although it was a colorful toque which was good for making Bobby Dawson at least smile. It was what Nick did next that made Bobby Dawson laugh. Nick was standing in the middle of the lab and had gathered quite a crowd, mostly lab techs brought in for one episode to serve as a convenient plot device then forgotten about. Included in the crowed were Warrick, Catherine, Ecklie, Hodges, Doc Robbins, Super Dave, the completely cool Archie, Brass, and finally the evil Spork. Suspiciously absent were Grissom and Sara. Nick, now quite proud that he had gathered at crowd, pulled of the toque. Everyone collapsed with laughter, even the evil Spork collapsed with laughter. When everyone had gained their breath back Warrick asked the question they all wanted answered. "Nick," he said cautiously, "what have you done?"

"What? This?" he said pointing to his now shiny completely bald head. "This is nothing. First you guys criticize me for my 'stache of doom. Then it was for my haircut so I finally decided that I should just get rid of my hair."

"Did you keep it?" asked Ecklie meekly, hoping that he could be provided with some hair to cover up his baldness.

"No," said Nick and Ecklie ran to cry in his office.

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The day continued. Warrick took his shirt off and Greg thought he would follow suit by taking his pants off. 100 cameras or camera phones came out to take pictures. Greg quickly put his pants back on. Super Dave carried a purse and Nick began waxing his head. Spork was also horribly impaled when one of Grissom's experiments in the refrigerator grew legs and decided that he would impaled the first person he saw with, as poetic justice would have it, a spork. She died. Nobody cared. Grissom and Sara were still suspiciously absent throughout all of this. Catherine made a comment about this to Brass and he just smiled with a dazed look on his face. He had gotten quite good at ignoring Catherine over the years. So off Catherine went to find Warrick, he always seemed to listen. Catherine found Warrick in the over manly place, the garage, talking with Greg. They were both laughing at Nick's latest sex appeal killing decision (however they didn't call it this. Being two un-gay men they called it "Nick won't be getting a lady now.") Greg saw Catherine enter and since he has always been slightly more than scared of her, ran out saying he needed some Blue Hawaiian. Warrick and Catherine began a very interesting conversation about where Grissom and Sara were. To sum up it began with a "sup?" from Warrick and then Catherine doing most if not all of the talking except for the moments when Warrick would smile and nod as if he understood, The truth was he didn't understand anything, being married he had merely perfected the art of pretending to care.


	3. Chapter 3

Greg wandered into the break room and found the impaled body of the evil Spork blocking his access to the coffee pot containing the goodness that was Blue Hawaiian. He poked her with his food just to see if she was in fact dead. She was so he cheered so loud that it attracted the attention of those plot device lab techs mentioned earlier. Greg didn't care and displaying strength that not even Nick had, lifted up the evil Spork and threw her out into the corridor. Greg calmly poured himself some of that delicious Blue Hawaiian and sat down to tell and amusing story to random lab tech number 2.

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Warrick and Catherine entered the break room. It was a happy meeting between co-workers as merely seconds later Nick walked in, followed by the totally cool Bobby Dawson, the super awesome Archie, Super Dave, Doc Robbins, Brass, and lastly Hodges. You know that something interesting will be happening soon. It has been foretold. The mood was slightly ruined when Ecklie entered but at least the evil Spork was slowly decomposing outside.

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The doors to the lab swung open. There seemed to be a light, a very very bright light emanating from what appeared to be no where. Out of the previously mentioned very very bright light stepped Grissom with wait for it…wait for it… OMG Sara! That's right, Grissom and Sara walked into the lab together. The entire lab let up a GASP. Not because they had walked into the lab together, you would be surprised how often that happened. A collective GASP was issued because of the fact that Grissom was actually holding Sara's hand and Sara had not just suffered some traumatic event like nearly being blown up nor had her had she just revealed all about her past to Grissom. Catherine wanted to know what hap happened immediately but Warrick held her back. You see Warrick had more common sense than Catherine. So Catherine waited rather impatiently for Grissom and Sara to amble down the corridor. Unfortunately for Catherine, Grissom and Sara turned and walked into Grissom's office. Catherine groaned and just when she was about to go and kick the door to Grissom's office down, she was held back once again by Warrick as he had more common sense than she did.

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Grissom and Sara stood together in his office, saying nothing. "We'll have to go out there eventually," said Sara.

"Can't we just stay in here?" Grissom asked, giving her a look with those cute almost puppy dog like eyes he has.

"Not forever. Sooner or later Catherine will kill Warrick and kick down this door just to know what's going on with us. I think the main thing we have to know is what we'll say to everyone," said Sara.

"I think we should tell them the truth."

"Now Grissom, I believe that the truth was that you finally decided what to do about this and we spent 12 hours in your apartment. We only left to go get married at Circus Circus and then spent another 3 hours in your apartment. We only came into work because we realized that we were over 6 hours late for work."

"True," said Grissom. "Do you think we have 10 minutes before we have to go out there?"

"No," said Sara firmly and she grabbed his hand so she could drag him out the door and into the break room.

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Grissom and Sara walked out of his office. They stood on the body of the evil Spork, no one truly cared anymore. Grissom looked around at his co-workers. "Damn these random plot device lab techs," he thought. "I don't even know their names." But that was okay it didn't matter. He saw that Catherine was tapping her foot impatiently and Sara began the tale of what had happened.

"Once upon a time," she began; all great stories begin this way you see. "There was a man named Grissom. He was rather stupid. Interested in beauty since he met a girl by the name of Sara Sidle however he was unsure what to do about 'this.' That was all fine and dandy until one day Sara got impatient. Right around this time Grissom finally decided what to do about this and everything is happy. You may have noticed today that Grissom and I have been suspiciously absent. I think Grissom agrees with me that we've certainly made up for lost time in the hours we have spent together. I've been pinned against walls, coffee tables, kitchen benches, just about everywhere in Grissom apartment really." Sara looked at Grissom and he smiled, he _certainly_ recalled those events.

"My mind, my virgin mind!" shouted Greg and he ran out of the break room with his hands over his head.

"This from the guy who used to keep semi-pornographic magazines in the lab," said Hodges and they all nodded in agreement.

"Anyway," said Sara. "We went to go get married at Circus Circus and then spent another couple of hours making up for lost time."

"Dude," Warrick said, "You got married at Circus Circus? That's where me and my lady Tina got married. Cool dawg!" He and Grissom then did that thing that handshake that people who try to be cool do and Catherine just gave Sara a look.

"Well that is certainly an interesting story you tell," said Catherine then realized that she had to go pick Lindsay up from school and ran to grab her purse before she left.

Everyone agreed that it was a very cool story and then the just plain awesome Bobby Dawson retold the days events.

"Cool hair Nick," said Sara and he smiled at her. Finally someone had paid him a compliment about his hair.

"Do you like that although we work night shift we seem be here at all hours of the day," said Grissom and then they all began to ponder this mystery in further detail.

**THE END.**

**A/N: Do not kill me for this bad story. I can't believe that everyone here actually read it.**


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